distractions.

i'm writing this post with a heart that is very full. so full that it might burst, or break, i'm not sure which. i write it with tears in my eyes and an aching in my head. my grandma, the biggest fan of this blog, does not have a lot of time left on this earth. after battling lung cancer for the past three years, it has finally taken it's toll. gosh i can't hardly stand it. those words are so hard to type. i've not had the motivation to even post because i know she's not getting up first thing in the morning to read it. and my heart breaks. 

i'm so grateful that her suffering is over. i'm so grateful that i know i'll see her again, and i'm so grateful to know of the reunion that will happen in heaven when she can run into my grandpa's arms and be with him again. i would love to see it. 

i can't write more than that. more about that anyway. my heart can't take it. luckily, we've had lots of good distractions the past couple of days and i've been able to fill my head with other things for a little while. my heart though... can't be filled with much else right now.

whit and liv came down for a visit and we all went to lunch together. chick-fil-a for all.

and that evening we got to go get our ellie fix. gosh that baby. i can't get enough of her.

the rest of my day was spent on the phone with my siblings, husband, and parents. so thankful for family. i'm so glad to be able to go through this with them and not alone. 

and as i go to sleep tonight i picture these four...

spending their last little bit together as mother and children on this earth. reminiscing, laughing, crying, and all the other things you do in a situation like this. my prayers are for them. for their comfort. 

i love you grandma.

 i love you to pieces.

this post was exactly two years ago. be still my aching heart.