a new year.

2019 brought us a huge blessing, our little rosie mae.

 the beginning of the year left me feeling a little discouraged as we had been trying to get pregnant for 18 months. i felt helpless. i prayed and hoped so hard for another baby. just one more baby. when the end of march/beginning of april rolled around and we found out we were expecting, i was more than elated! even with my history of miscarriages, i was so happy to just be pregnant. even if it was for a minute.

(this picture was taken right after i got the positive pregnancy test!)

we found out while we were on our little getaway to mesquite. i was on cloud 9 the whole time. a few weeks later, i thought i was losing the baby. i was obviously devastated but still so grateful to have been pregnant. after a few ultrasounds and 6 weeks of bed rest, i slowly got back into normal life. except for working out. i was a little sad but i was happy to do anything and everything to continue to have a good pregnancy. i went back to the gym 3 days a week and mostly just walked, rode a bike, and stretched out a lot. 

adalyn had been telling us all along that we were having a girl. she knew i was pregnant before i did. i wanted to believe her so badly, but i was also afraid to get my hopes up. one random day last january, we were in the layton hills mall, and adi out of nowhere told me, "i'm going to be a big sister mom. we're going to have a baby sister and do you know what her name is going to be? it's rosie." and boy was she right! her knowing it was a girl never wavered. we tried to prepare her in case it was in fact a baby brother, but she knew. i know they were together in heaven, and that they had a special relationship. adi knew she would come to our family and she's still so excited she's here. every morning, she comes in to see the baby first thing and says things like, "i just can't believe we have a baby sister. i just can't believe she's here." it makes me heart just soar.

there were definitely some rough moments of 2019. i spent a lot of it in my bed, worried and hopeful. but also, pray and pray my little heart out. i'm so grateful for the experiences i've had, to make me empathetic and more understanding of those in similar experiences. there were, of course, wonderful moments too. time spent together, and the birth of our newest little member.

in 2020, i am looking forward to watching this baby grow, watching my older girls accomplish things and have fun together, getting back to the gym, and creating lots and lots of memories with james and my girls. we have some fun things we're looking forward to this year and we're so blessed to get to do them together. this year is going to be such a great one. i can feel it and i'm going to make great!

thank you for EVERYTHING 2019 and 2020, let's see what you've got!