today one of my sweet little kindergarteners curiously asked me,
"teacher, have you ever had a baby in your stomach?"
not wanting to make the conversation complicated, i said,
"nope not yet, how come?"
"because you NEED to have a baby in your stomach,"
she said boldly!
tears sprang to my eyes. i do need to have a baby in my stomach. i want to have a baby in my stomach.
i've had three babies in my stomach, but none in my arms.
i want to be a mom.
i want to be on the other side of the door racing my 'tad bit late' kindergarten child into class and kissing them on the cheek before i let go of their hand.
i want that.
i can't wait for that. to be a mom.
i know it'll happen.
sometimes i forget to put my trust in the Lord and know that he will take care of me. i forget that so easily when i hear a baby cry. my heart hurts. it literally hurts.
but then i'm ok again.
i remember that it is out of my hands. i can only hope and pray.
and have faith that one day i will be a mom.
because i need a baby in my stomach.