Monday, September 13, 2010

my stomach

today one of my sweet little kindergarteners curiously asked me,

"teacher, have you ever had a baby in your stomach?"

not wanting to make the conversation complicated, i said,

"nope not yet, how come?"

"because you NEED to have a baby in your stomach,"

she said boldly!

tears sprang to my eyes. i do need to have a baby in my stomach. i want to have a baby in my stomach.

i've had three babies in my stomach, but none in my arms.

i want to be a mom.

i want to be on the other side of the door racing my 'tad bit late' kindergarten child into class and kissing them on the cheek before i let go of their hand.

i want that.

i can't wait for that. to be a mom.

i know it'll happen.

sometimes i forget to put my trust in the Lord and know that he will take care of me. i forget that so easily when i hear a baby cry. my heart hurts. it literally hurts.

but then i'm ok again.

i remember that it is out of my hands. i can only hope and pray.

and have faith that one day i will be a mom.

because i need a baby in my stomach.
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